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chicago discordians

our discordian cousins in CHICAGO ILLINOIS request your presence at a discordian event on MAY 22thh (into may 23, of course.)

they assure us that it is the first, best, and only midwestern discordian meetup, and that you are silly if you choose not to attend it.

shit, maybe WEE will go. this sounds awesome.

HI WEIRDNESS: discordian celebration and variety show

Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 8:30pm
2736 W. NORTH AVE. @ flopsy tea haus, chicago

kallisti and welcome to our autonomous zone.


come one, cum many from any of the multiverses to the first annual HI WEIRDNESS discordian bash!


bring your music and performance to make and art to swap!
discordian skits, comedy, music, radical cheerleading, cabaret, and burlesque performance variety show - you perform, too!
wear a costume!

$5 suggested donation
(for the space)
nobody turned away


fellow worker

also, here is an e-mail for you, from you.

"i'd like to draw your attention to the following bavarian fire drill(s) conducted by operatives unknown:


view an expanded list at end of article.


(edit 8/09: URL became deadlink; altered to permanent link on alternate site documenting same phenomenon)

this is serious business

wee always thought the problem with discordians was, man, a bad sense of what is serious and what isn't.

then WEE learned there are at least 100 things that aren't really serious business.

what things have YOU learned aren't really serious business?

a note from scroogle.org

A note of appreciation from the rich

Let's be honest: you'll never win the lottery.

On the other hand, the chances are pretty good that you'll slave away at some miserable job the rest of your life. That's because you were in all likelihood born into the wrong social class. Let's face it — you're a member of the working caste. Sorry!

As a result, you don't have the education, upbringing, connections, manners, appearance, and good taste to ever become one of us. In fact, you'd probably need a book the size of the yellow pages to list all the unfair advantages we have over you. That's why we're so relieved to know that you still continue to believe all those silly fairy tales about "justice" and "equal opportunity" in America.

Of course, in a hierarchical social system like ours, there's never been much room at the top to begin with. Besides, it's already occupied by us — and we like it up here so much that we intend to keep it that way. But at least there's usually someone lower in the social hierarchy you can feel superior to and kick in the teeth once in a while. Even a lowly dishwasher can easily find some poor slob further down in the pecking order to sneer and spit at. So be thankful for migrant workers, prostitutes, and homeless street people.

Always remember that if everyone like you were economically secure and socially privileged like us, there would be no one left to fill all those boring, dangerous, low-paid jobs in our economy. And no one to fight our wars for us, or blindly follow orders in our totalitarian corporate institutions. And certainly no one to meekly go to their grave without having lived a full and creative life. So please, keep up the good work!

You also probably don't have the same greedy, compulsive drive to possess wealth, power, and prestige that we have. And even though you may sincerely want to change the way you live, you're also afraid of the very change you desire, thus keeping you and others like you in a nervous state of limbo. So you go through life mechanically playing your assigned social role, terrified what others would think should you ever dare to "break out of the mold."

Naturally, we try to play you off against each other whenever it suits our purposes: high-waged workers against low-waged, unionized against non-unionized, Black against White, male against female, American workers against Japanese against Mexican against.... We continually push your wages down by invoking "foreign competition," "the law of supply and demand," "national security," or "the bloated federal deficit." We throw you on the unemployed scrap heap if you step out of line or jeopardize our profits. And to give you an occasional break from the monotony of our daily economic blackmail, we allow you to participate in our stage-managed electoral shell games, better known to you ordinary folks as "elections." Happily, you haven't a clue as to what's really happening — instead, you blame "Aliens," "Tree-hugging Environmentalists," "Niggers," "Jews," Welfare Queens," and countless others for your troubled situation.

We're also very pleased that many of you still embrace the "work ethic," even though most jobs in our economy degrade the environment, undermine your physical and emotional health, and basically suck your one and only life right out of you. We obviously don't know much about work, but we're sure glad you do!

Of course, life could be different. Society could be intelligently organized to meet the real needs of the general population. You and others like you could collectively fight to free yourselves from our domination. But you don't know that. In fact, you can't even imagine that another way of life is possible. And that's probably the greatest, most significant achievement of our system — robbing you of your imagination, your creativity, your ability to think and act for yourself.

So we'd truly like to thank you from the bottom of our heartless hearts. Your loyal sacrifice makes possible our corrupt luxury; your work makes our system work. Thanks so much for "knowing your place" — without even knowing it!

the man from mars began to laugh

"Consider laughter: it is the highest emotion, for it can contain any of the others from ecstasy to grief. It has no opposite. Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself. The trick is to see that joke played out even in the neutral and ghastly events which surround one... "
-Peter J. Carroll, liber null


What do YOU laugh at?
"Thus scientific convention decides whether an eel shall be a fish or a snake, and grammatical convention determines what experiences shall be called objects and what shall be called events or actions. How arbitrary such conventions may be can be seen from the question, 'What happens to my fist [noun-object] when I open my hand?' The object miraculously vanishes because an action was disguised by a part of speech usually assigned to a thing! In English the differences between things and actions are clearly, if not always logically, distinguished, but a great number of Chinese words do duty for both nouns and verbs- so that one who thinks in Chinese has little difficulty in seeing that objects are also events, that our world is a collection of processes rather than entities."

-alan watts


what "objects" do you see as events?


submission call-out #2

this is a POSTSCRIPT..

...the submissions have been POURING IN from all over the freakin' world.

it's amazing.

the discordian pieces have been HILARIOUS!! but wee need MORE WINGNUT! wee are still in need of pieces specifically RADICAL in NATURE... this can be advice about how to weather the imminent collapse of capitalism and post-industrial society while still keeping our spirits high or at least buzzed.

some ideas:
  • instructions for games to be played with little to no materials
  • wacky bootleg liquor recipes
  • costumes and other wacky/silly/occult things to make out of garbage
  • re-programming, magick, meditation, and/ or breathing exercises to get you as high as yr going to get after the soil doesn't support other toys and tools
  • how to help steer the dogmatic towards understanding they will never understand
  • funny things about how we're kind of screwed
  • good information to help from being kind of screwed

please email us your rad liberated ideas for attaining MAGICK at NO COST

did wee mention wee love you?

absurd vacation

Magicians, and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an essential metaphysical balance. When magicians learn to approach philosophy as a malleable art instead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man's endeavours, then they will be able to pursue their art with a lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY.
-from chapter 61 OCCULTISM,
principia discordia


wee hope this means you understand that wee jumped.

that's our way of apologizing for disappearing these past few spins.

what have YOU been doing in this long interim? wee have missed you many times, and loved you, and look forward to loving you again.

sharing of life's glories: bread and roses

the state of the world is bad.
(really bad?

radical? anarchist? progressive? activist? who cares what you call yourself? you are trying to unlearn all this garbage. the LABELS! the hierarchies! the TAKING IT SERIOUSLYus, too. wee try not to let it get to us, but it does, sometimes...

...what do you do to keep from taking this shit so seriously?

you noble diggers!






Discordians have a tradit-
ion of assuming HOLY NAMES.
This is not unique with
Erisianism, of course. I
suppose that Pope Paul is
the son of Mr. and Mrs. VI?


-page 42 of principiadiscordia.com

so, enough of this USERNAME crap.

(remember that wee live in a police state! this 'holy names' thing isn't only fun and games! no real names, please!)
if you are not feeling creative at the moment, you may allow a computerized name generator to generate Your new persona.

examples of these titles (wee may or may not have had help from the generator) may include Pope Coyote Milksop Sensemilla IV, Reverend SerialMom Cookie Chakra, Pope Scumfuck Vanzetti, Frater Pythagorean Balogna Sigil, Brother Meme Mimi Me, or Episkopos Horselover Babylon.