also, here is an e-mail for you, from you.


"i'd like to draw your attention to the following bavarian fire drill(s) conducted by operatives unknown:

http://www.hotel-online.com/News/PR2009_3rd/Jul09_PrankCalls.html

view an expanded list at end of article.

enjoy!"



(edit 8/09: URL became deadlink; altered to permanent link on alternate site documenting same phenomenon)

wee always thought the problem with discordians was, man, a bad sense of what is serious and what isn't.

then WEE learned there are at least 100 things that aren't really serious business.



what things have YOU learned aren't really serious business?

A note of appreciation from the rich

Let's be honest: you'll never win the lottery.

On the other hand, the chances are pretty good that you'll slave away at some miserable job the rest of your life. That's because you were in all likelihood born into the wrong social class. Let's face it — you're a member of the working caste. Sorry!

As a result, you don't have the education, upbringing, connections, manners, appearance, and good taste to ever become one of us. In fact, you'd probably need a book the size of the yellow pages to list all the unfair advantages we have over you. That's why we're so relieved to know that you still continue to believe all those silly fairy tales about "justice" and "equal opportunity" in America.

Of course, in a hierarchical social system like ours, there's never been much room at the top to begin with. Besides, it's already occupied by us — and we like it up here so much that we intend to keep it that way. But at least there's usually someone lower in the social hierarchy you can feel superior to and kick in the teeth once in a while. Even a lowly dishwasher can easily find some poor slob further down in the pecking order to sneer and spit at. So be thankful for migrant workers, prostitutes, and homeless street people.

Always remember that if everyone like you were economically secure and socially privileged like us, there would be no one left to fill all those boring, dangerous, low-paid jobs in our economy. And no one to fight our wars for us, or blindly follow orders in our totalitarian corporate institutions. And certainly no one to meekly go to their grave without having lived a full and creative life. So please, keep up the good work!

You also probably don't have the same greedy, compulsive drive to possess wealth, power, and prestige that we have. And even though you may sincerely want to change the way you live, you're also afraid of the very change you desire, thus keeping you and others like you in a nervous state of limbo. So you go through life mechanically playing your assigned social role, terrified what others would think should you ever dare to "break out of the mold."

Naturally, we try to play you off against each other whenever it suits our purposes: high-waged workers against low-waged, unionized against non-unionized, Black against White, male against female, American workers against Japanese against Mexican against.... We continually push your wages down by invoking "foreign competition," "the law of supply and demand," "national security," or "the bloated federal deficit." We throw you on the unemployed scrap heap if you step out of line or jeopardize our profits. And to give you an occasional break from the monotony of our daily economic blackmail, we allow you to participate in our stage-managed electoral shell games, better known to you ordinary folks as "elections." Happily, you haven't a clue as to what's really happening — instead, you blame "Aliens," "Tree-hugging Environmentalists," "Niggers," "Jews," Welfare Queens," and countless others for your troubled situation.

We're also very pleased that many of you still embrace the "work ethic," even though most jobs in our economy degrade the environment, undermine your physical and emotional health, and basically suck your one and only life right out of you. We obviously don't know much about work, but we're sure glad you do!

Of course, life could be different. Society could be intelligently organized to meet the real needs of the general population. You and others like you could collectively fight to free yourselves from our domination. But you don't know that. In fact, you can't even imagine that another way of life is possible. And that's probably the greatest, most significant achievement of our system — robbing you of your imagination, your creativity, your ability to think and act for yourself.

So we'd truly like to thank you from the bottom of our heartless hearts. Your loyal sacrifice makes possible our corrupt luxury; your work makes our system work. Thanks so much for "knowing your place" — without even knowing it!

this is a POSTSCRIPT..

...the submissions have been POURING IN from all over the freakin' world.

it's amazing.

the discordian pieces have been HILARIOUS!! but wee need MORE WINGNUT! wee are still in need of pieces specifically RADICAL in NATURE... this can be advice about how to weather the imminent collapse of capitalism and post-industrial society while still keeping our spirits high or at least buzzed.




some ideas:

• instructions for games to be played with little to no materials
• wacky bootleg liquor recipes
• costumes and other wacky/silly/occult things to make out of garbage
• re-programming, magick, meditation, and/ or breathing exercises to get you as high as yr going to get after the soil doesn't support other toys and tools
• how to help steer the dogmatic towards understanding they will never understand
• funny things about how we're kind of screwed
• good information to help from being kind of screwed

please email us your rad liberated ideas for attaining MAGICK at NO COST

did wee mention wee love you?

 

wee hope this means you understand that wee jumped.

that's our way of apologizing for disappearing these past few spins.

what have YOU been doing in this long interim? wee have missed you many times, and loved you, and look forward to loving you again.

the state of the world is bad.
(really bad?
terrible?)


radical? anarchist? progressive? activist? who cares what you call yourself? you are trying to unlearn all this garbage. the LABELS! the hierarchies! the TAKING IT SERIOUSLY! us, too. wee try not to let it get to us, but it does, sometimes...

...what do you do to keep from taking this shit so seriously?

.

.

.

 

HOLY NAMES

Discordians have a tradit-
ion of assuming HOLY NAMES.
This is not unique with
Erisianism, of course. I
suppose that Pope Paul is
the son of Mr. and Mrs. VI?

And also TITLES OF MYSTICAL
IMPORT.

-page 42 of principiadiscordia.com
+++++++++++++o++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++o

so, enough of this USERNAME crap.

INTRODUCE YOURS-ELF!
(remember that wee live in a police state! this 'holy names' thing isn't only fun and games! no real names, please!)
if you are not feeling creative at the moment, you may allow a computerized name generator to generate Your new persona.


examples of these titles (wee may or may not have had help from the generator) may include Pope Coyote Milksop Sensemilla IV, Reverend SerialMom Cookie Chakra, Pope Scumfuck Vanzetti, Frater Pythagorean Balogna Sigil, Brother Meme Mimi Me, or Episkopos Horselover Babylon.

who are wee?

some of us are people who think that binaries are silly. in this way, wee are not men or women when we meet as twentythreepress, wee are not good or evil, wee are not cynical or hopeful, but wee are living beings in grayspace between these binaries working on launching up and away from the scale into a fourth dimension.

some of us have a strong interest in magick, in meditation, in utilizing the full potential of the human brain, whatever that may be. some of us have no interest in these fields, because wee are too busy pulling weeds and cooking dinner and altogether surviving. some of us apparently like anime. or goths. whatever. wee judge not.

but all of us here at twentythreepress believe that people are oppressed by some force, whether wee call it the Empire, the Man, the Black Iron Prison, government, oppressive morality, soul-eating-tentacle-machines-from-alternative-realities, qoiyqhnknwyqolwjnkdn, demons, cops, gwb... all of us here at twentythreepress are radicals, and wee are fighting, each in our own ways, the fear that this force tries to instill in us all.

wee have only one true commonality, and that is this: wee know that this force doesn't like all this community-building, and when there is chaotic laughter, wee feel this force shrinking like the economy.

wee are just fucking around, and would like to give a warm sloppy anarkiss to all of you hundreds of badass radicals... and remind you to become a part of a community, even if it's not this one. things are getting scary!

wee feel so blessed

as porn says, "wee are SO EXCITED!"

wee have received our FIFTEENTH submission to the radical discordian zine project in the past TWO DAYS.

in case You are bad at math, that is NOT A LOT OF HOURS, divided by "two" and also "fifteen"

wee have received everything from amazing cubist paintings to a charles manson cut-up to poetry about numbers.

this is going to be big, this is going to be spicy, this is going to be other adjectives, also!

as porn says, keep it coming, and don't stop.

have YOU ever written silly poems, surreal works of short fiction, discordian puns, or situationist epics? drawn 'bob' dobbs' head, recorded merry pranks, written anarchist limericks or zen koans or flying spaghetti monster fanfiction? magick? taken photos of hot dog buns? created any nature of RADICAL DISCORDIAN ART?


then oh please send it to us - twentythreepress at gmail - so that you can be a part of twentythreepress' first ever DISCORDIAN COMPILATION ZINE

all who are selected for inclusion will receive a free copy of the project and full papal rights.

blasted be!

what happens when one person posts "tell me about the games you like to play" on the "strictly platonic" section of craigslists around the world, including chicago, olympia, san francisco, new york, seattle, portland, vancouver, minneapolis, barcelona, london, and more?


this awesome 16-page half-sized zine includes original (and other kinds of) art, a hand-written thank-you letter (for supporting the project and our diy community,) and 26 strange, disturbing, silly, and hilarious responses to the question.




email twentythreepress at gmail for more information

$1 or email for info abt. trade